The one thing I've learned in all my years of being married (soon to be 33) is that just because my husband and I talk, sure doesn't mean that we are communicating. I know it sounds rather silly but communicating isn't that easy. When I say communicating, I mean really communicating, understanding what the other person is actually saying.
There have been so many times that I have been pissed off at my husband and he had no idea why. Can you imagine, he didn't know why I was ticked. Really! I look back at those times and find it hard to believe that we survived. But we did, thankfully.
So I know that we are not the only ones that this kind of stuff happens to. I would love to know what kind of disagreements or arguments you find yourselves in because of miscommunication.
Just because we say something doesn't mean it is heard the way we said it. For example: anyone out there who thinks that their partner should just know what they want done, or should know that something needs doing. I cannot tell you how many people (women mostly) who are so frustrated and annoyed or angry because they are tired of doing it all. When I ask them why they never mentioned it to their spouse, they respond, "well they should know what needs to be done, or can't they see. They are repeating the same complaint to their partner, but nothing is done about it. Oh the frustration....
Here are a couple of thoughts or ideas, I know you have probably heard it before but here it goes anyway.... They are not mind readers..... so in saying that, please, please, even if you don't feel that you should have to ask for something to be done, or for something that you want. The only way to make sure that you get it is to ask for it! Like, I would really love it if you would (fill in the blank), or I really need you to start doing (fill in the blank). If they are not sure how to do it, say that's ok I'll show you. Also notes are great too, just sayin'... don't assume EVER! Just because you do it a certain way, sure as heck doesn't mean they will. Have patience it'll be worth it, honest.
There is so much on this one topic alone. I'll wait to see the kind of responses I get back and then I can go into detail on different ways to communicate. I have some really cool strategies to share that I know will help.
Stay Strong, happy and healthy