Based on my Anthony Robbins training
Quality problems involve a risky forward-thinking decision that will often take you to another stage in life. They include, but are not limited to:
- career shift
- committing to or leaving a relationship
- starting a family
- interpersonal communication
- confronting someone
- asking someone for help.
Safe problems involve lingering issues which lie within our control.
They include, but are not limited to:
- food and other addictions
- blaming others for our troubles
- avoiding decisions
- withdrawing from relationships.
Safe problems seem safe to you because they appear to protect you from your fears -- like failure, inadequacy or rejection. When you come up against a risky decision you're unwilling to make, you often create a safe problem that then distracts you from making the risky decision. It is the safe problems -- such as depression and addictions -- that cause more damage to our bodies, our spirit and our relationships. Gaining an understanding of why you avoid making that risky decision will allow you to fully identify the quality problem you are avoiding. It will enable you to make those radical changes instead of avoiding them by creating the safe problem which kept you stuck, and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled in your life.
To get unstuck is to get clear on what you want out of life. What do you want? How do you want to feel? What is one of the biggest problems you are confronting in life?
- career problems
- financial difficulty
Is it consistent? Has it been around forever? Has it become comfortable even though
you are unhappy? If the problem disappeared, what would be next for you? We hold ourselves back out of fear. The question to ask is, What is the problem costing you and those around you? Is it constructive or destructive?
One step in overcoming this from happening is to get as clear as you can on what is important. Make an action plan. What are you determined to do to solve the problem?
We are faced with situations and issues on a daily basis; how do you handle them? What is your pattern? Do you avoid, ignore, hope it goes away? Or do you face it and deal with it?
Learning how to deal with the uncomfortable stuff and the difficult decisions is definitely the best way to go; however, this is not our normal way of dealing with it.
I have learned that allowing our risky decisions to turn into safe problems does not serve us. I had to learn to identify and manage my emotions in order to make those decisions, to create a life I could love and to feel my best.
If you feel frustrated (often), unhappy (a lot), not feeling fulfilled, emotionally withdrawn, this could be a place to start identifying what problems you're avoiding and what action you can take to begin leading the life you love.