Emotional patterns. What exactly are they?
Let's start off with emotions we all experience. Fear, sadness, anger, happiness, hurt, guilt. There are so many. Any feeling we experience falls under the emotional label. The issue I had was never really understanding my emotional state. I would feel unhappy, but I didn't know why. I just felt down. It wouldn't last very long, maybe a few days, at which point I was distracted so I would feel good again, then back to feeling down.
There was a pattern happening and I was not even aware of it.
What was happening to me, and I'm pretty sure I am not the only one, was that I was being affected by outside influences, and was trying to control things that were not within my control. What this did to me was create a plethora of uncontrollable emotions, mostly anger, sadness, hopelessness. I had never learned how to deal with my emotions. I would blame how I was feeling on the source, mostly my husband. I felt like my emotions were out of control. Well, they were actually. It was a vicious circle and I wanted it to stop.
I learned that when I brought on certain emotions, I was fulfilling a need. For example, when I got "sad," my husband paid extra attention to me; when I seemed angry, he would try to do something nice to make me feel better. The hard truth was that I had gotten into a pattern and was looking for him to make me feel better; sadly, no matter how hard he tried, the worse I felt. I know that sounds crazy, but let me tell you it was a horrible place to be. It was not my husband's responsibility to make me happy. Who knew? I have since learned that I am in control of my emotions, my thoughts and my life. Understanding our own emotions and choosing to take responsibility for how we want to feel is the first step to emotional mastery. I have a choice in how I want to react to a situation. I understand how it doesn't make me feel a certain way ... I am being triggered due to the situation that I now have control over. This can totally change your whole way of life: less stress, less frustration, and way more joy and happiness. Happiness is our fault, not someone else's.